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The essential guide for singles and couples who want to explore polyamory in ways that are ethically and emotionally sustainable.
For anyone who has ever dreamed of love, sex, and companionship beyond the limits of traditional monogamy, this groundbreaking guide navigates the infinite possibilities that open relationships can offer. Experienced ethical sluts Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy dispel myths and cover all the skills necessary to maintain a successful and responsible polyamorous lifestyle--from self-reflection and honest communication to practicing safe sex and raising a family. Individuals and their partners will learn how to discuss and honor boundaries, resolve conflicts, and to define relationships on their own terms.
"I couldn't stop reading it, and I for one identify as an ethical slut. This is a book for anyone interested in creating more pleasure in their lives . . . a complete guide to improving any style of relating, from going steady to having an extended family of sexual friends." --Betty Dodson, PhD, author of Sex for One
- Sales Rank: #3628 in Books
- Brand: imusti
- Published on: 2009-03-03
- Released on: 2009-03-10
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.98" h x .75" w x 6.00" l, .91 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 296 pages
- Celestial Arts
Review
"This book is the definitive guide to having your marriage and eating other people too. The Ethical Slut made me the ethical slut I am today, and I am so proud!”--Margaret Cho, comedian and author of I’m the One That I Want
“The Ethical Slut is one of the most useful relationship books you could ever read, no matter what your lifestyle choices. It‚’s chock-full of great information about communication, jealousy, asking for what you want, and maintaining a relationship with integrity. An absolute masterpiece and a must-read!”--Annie Sprinkle, PhD, sexologist and author of Dr. Sprinkle's Spectacular Sex
“Many people wish for and dream of a wider world sexually and live out their lives unable to find the courage to explore. This book is a thoughtful, practical, and loving look at that exploration.”--David Crosby, musician and author of Since Then
“The Ethical Slut, in this new and expanded edition, is the definitive guide for creating and sustaining all conscious relationships‚��polyamorous, open, alternative, and monogamous. Don’t enter into another relationship without it!”--Barbara Carrellas, author of Urban Tantra
“Dossie and Janet’s blend of good humor and forthright honesty makes for some of the best writing I have found on sexually complicated relationships and blended family options. Engaging, disarming, forthright‚ this is the book for those of us still brave enough to make the ethically complex choices.” --Dorothy Allison, author of Bastard Out of Carolina
“A useful guidebook for radical relationship travelers . . . experienced counsel to those on the polysexual frontier.” --Ryam Nearing, Loving More magazine
“A post-graduate course in ethical relationships of every stripe. The authors pull no punches and are totally outrageous. . . . You’ll never be bored.” --Stan Dale, DHS, founder of the Human Awareness Institute
“Frank, funny, and full of practical advice . . . life-saving validation, empathy, and plenty of insider tips from the experienced big sisters you probably weren’t fortunate enough to have.” --Deborah Anapol, PhD, author of Polyamory: The New Love without Limits
From the Publisher
* The essential guide for singles and couples who want to explore polyamory in ways that are ethically and emotionally sustainable.
* Revised and updated throughout, with new strategies for single sluts, advice for opening an existing relationship or marriage, and exercises for thinking about and discussing open relationships.
About the Author
JANET W. HARDY is the author of more than 10 books and founder of Greenery Press, a San Francisco Bay Area book publisher specializing in sexually adventurous books. She swore off monogamy in 1987.
THE AUTHOR SCOOP
Do you eat your vegetables?
Yes, but I’d rather steal your dessert.
Have any good pet stories?
My dear Amy – a gigantic shaggy lab/poodle mix who went to doggie heaven last summer – is still the stuff of legend in San Francisco’s alt-sex scene. One evening, she wandered into the room during a bondage demo: a sweetie of ours was modeling a spreadeagle pose. Amy took one look at her beloved auntie and immediately flopped down next to her on her back, all four legs spread out in the identical pose, as the room dissolved in hysterics and Auntie sat up, rubbing her wrists indignantly, and sputtered, “Upstaged by a fucking dog!”
Are you "six degrees of separation" away from anyone famous?
Distantly related to Clement C. Moore, author of The Night Before Christmas.
Do you have a scar anywhere on your body? How did you get it?
A stylized elephant branded on my right calf, put there by Fakir Musafar. Elephants are large, smart and matriarchal – hence, my totem.
What was your favorite birthday?
Ah, this is a good one… my 35th, the year my two main squeezes at the time took a cabin at Sea Ranch for my birthday and we spent the weekend mushroom-hunting, binge-eating and fucking.
Name a favorite dish that your mother used to make.
“Israeli salad,” which she learned to make when she was trapshooting on the American team in the Maccabiah Games, the Jewish olympics. A chopped salad made with tomatoes, cukes, hard-boiled eggs, bell peppers, etc., and tossed with olive oil and lemon juice.
What is your favorite thing about being an author?
Spelunking in my own brain.
DOSSIE EASTON is a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in alternative sexualities and open relationships. She is the author of four other books. She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area and has been an ethical slut since 1969.
Most helpful customer reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
I really enjoyed this! It was suggested to me so many ...
By マヤ アヤ
I really enjoyed this! It was suggested to me so many times. I am very sexual open-minded person who is willingly in a monogamous relationship. Though, I didn't necessarily want to be in a poly relationship, this book didn't seem pretentious about its choices. I totally agree with the idea of being open and honest about your sexuality, and providing this as an ALTERNATIVE to CHEATING. Which is wrong.
There are some sound arguments in here. It has a really great part about jealously and how you can get rid of it which is healthy for ANY relationship. Likewise, its conflict resolution advice is VERY HELPFUL.
There are actual fun little activities in each section, and it is an easy read.
I think anyone in a relationship could benefit from this book.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
An interesting exploration of non-monogamous relationships.
By Seekerpilgrim
The title may come across as confrontational, and therefore put many people off, but if you give THE ETHICAL SLUT a chance, you will find a surprisingly deep book on the nature and variety of relationships (sexual or not), the importance of communication (and especially trust), and of course how fun and therapeutic the many forms of erotic connection with others can be.
I expected this book to basically be a manifesto on casual sex and how outdated and limiting the idea of monogamy is. Surprisingly, the authors wish nothing else than for the reader to consider the possibilities that other relationship dynamics may offer, and to keep an open mind when encountering others who embrace those dynamics.
THE ETHICAL SLUT is a book that works best when read in small doses, giving one a chance to absorb the sometimes uncomfortable concepts of sharing intimacy with more than one person, discussing it with others, and possibly reevaluating what one considers the lifestyle that works best for them. Give it a chance, and you may learn something about yourself.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Not for the Close-Minded
By Beverly Diehl
Considered to be almost the Bible of polyamory, this classic work is not perfect, but is so "fat" with useful information and anecdotes it doesn't have to be.
The writing style is very readable and not wonky. In part it is a memoir of "this is how things worked for us," rather than a how-to guide.
I think that people in every relationship style could benefit from this book, but those in more traditionally shaped ones may feel a little butthurt by the inference that polyamory is better/healthier (though the authors state repeatedly that monogamy is perfectly okay, too).
I am not sure if my favorite chapter is the one on Jealousy, or the one on Sex and Pleasure, but I do know I am going to suggest that some of my monogamous friends read at least the latter one. The chapters on communication may seem like common sense, but they are also issues that fail in relationships that fail. I will be rereading frequently.
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